she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
