so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize