did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
