Sry I called you an 8
That's intense
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
