Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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