Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
