ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
