I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I am morally bankrupt
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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