We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
