You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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