I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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