you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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