Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
