Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
