I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
