Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
