im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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