i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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