i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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