3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
