Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
