Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
