you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
