suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
