every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize