You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
