I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
