I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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