TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I party with great urgency now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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