would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
