I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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