Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
