Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
