problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
