how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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