i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
