just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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