She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
