I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
