Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm at about main and main street
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
