Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dignity is for republicans.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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