***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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