2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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