Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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