I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize