Is it because I queefed?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
