We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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