how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
