Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
