Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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