that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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