my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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