That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
