Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
