Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
