There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
