Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
