come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
