I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
so much tequila, so little girl.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
