If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize