Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
