Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I didn't notice because vodka
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
