One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize