Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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