i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
