You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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